I want to tell you about something that has been eating at me for months, that I really really dislike about myself in hopes that others out there may not feel embarrassed and may be inspired to make a change. You see, it has been digging a pit in my belly for a long time. I raise my voice at my kids far more often that I would ever want to. The story always goes the same, I ask one of my kids to do something over and over and over until finally, I scream. Ick! I hate how it makes me feel. I hate the look on their little faces and I hate the impact it may be having on them or our relationship. SO, after a lot of soul-searching {and internet searching} I came across The Orange Rhino. A loving mom who was in my same shoes that wanted to make a change and boy did she! Not only did she challenge herself to 365 days of no yelling {and still going strong}, but she has also created a movement to love more + yell less. She has allowed parents all over the world to acknowledge their deep dark little secret in a non-judgemental forum.
It started for me months ago when I had just yelled at one of my most favorite people in the whole entire world. One little person that means so much to me that I would lay down my life for them.
When I looked up and saw the open window, I thought to myself “oh no, someone may have heard me.”
What a flippin’ backwards moment that was!! I was concerned about an audience outside my home and not the beautiful precious audience inside my home! Seriously a WTF moment for me.
I had already been a fan of The Orange Rhino by this point, but it was kinda like an addicts low point moment that ends up with them in rehab. I had been trying by myself to figure out when I felt like raising my voice the most. What was happening with me in my life, what was happening at the moment in my home and in my kids’ lives. It was definitely getting better. I had started catching myself before the tone changed, but it wasn’t enough. That’s when The Orange Rhino Challenge started, “30 days to yelling less and loving more project.” I signed my crazy loud self up immediately! If you find yourself yelling more than you’d like, check it out. Remind yourself of The Orange Rhino every time you feel that feeling inside your body, reflect on when and where you are when you feel it, and make a change.
The most important audience, is the audience of the sweet little loves in your own home. It’s that Simple.
***This blog post has been sitting ready to publish for almost 2 months. It took me that long to get the courage up to share something so incredibly private. I feel so strongly about this topic that I ultimately decided sharing my story can only help me, my family and hopefully other moms that love their kids more than all the world, but feel stuck in the raise your voice trap. Please comment with compassion.
Image Credit: The Orange Rhino
this is the most useful blog post I have read in a while dominique. thank you for sharing. I have always believed that sharing our struggles, shortcomings or challenges is what helps us connect to others, or in your case, readers. kudos.
Thank you Ashley. This is why I was willing to reveal. And thank you for following me in my tiny corner of the world wide web! xo
Hi Domonique! Thank you so much for this post and sharing this personal struggle. I could very well be writing the exact same thing, if I was writing a blog. I’m going to sign up for the challenge myself, and think of you, the Orange Rhino and all the other Moms out there that are on the same boat, everyday as I am challenged by my little loves. Thank you!
Hi Minnie! So nice to see you here. Thank you for your encouraging words. If one mom is changed by The Orange Rhino then sharing my story was worth it!
I sit here and cry as I read the this because I could very well write this exact same blog post. It is mr- to the T! Ive been a closet orange rhino for years. Thank you for sharing. It serves as a reminder to all moms out there doing the hardest (and most important) job on earth that we’re human, not alone, and able to change – one day at a time. I’m in phase one, but each day is signifigant even if it s only the slightest awareness or change. Thanks so much for opening up and being so honest.
Thank you so much for sharing. I don’t know how this comment got missed so long ago. I hope you are feeling better about this part of mothering. Thank you for reading. Love to all the mommas out there!